I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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