I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize