a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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