Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
