just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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