why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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