People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
