I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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