this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
