so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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