i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
