you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
