He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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