her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Someone came in the potted fern
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
