Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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