as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
