Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
