she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
