i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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