Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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