He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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