So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize