i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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