we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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