My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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