i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
