Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
