"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
