is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize