we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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