hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
