maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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