my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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