i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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