So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
