She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
