how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
