we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she was so not down for the gang bang
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
