take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
