Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
