I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
