ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
