turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
