That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
