Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
