tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
