this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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