is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
