I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize