O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
are you so shy because you have an std?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Drake has all the answers
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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