We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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