My cat gives me a boner
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
