how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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