I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
