Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Randomize
