sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
if only i could text you this smell
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize