Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
