I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
