friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
