I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize