Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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