Your tits are I can't wait for
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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