im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
